Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
