If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
