we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
