That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
