The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
