she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
