Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
