nut hugger
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
