the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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