at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
