the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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