I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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