I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
