Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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