I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
