Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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