Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
