Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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