My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
