I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
