do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
