I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
