Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
