So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
