Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(702): View more from Nevada

Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?

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(813): View more from Florida

Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person

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(952): View more from Minnesota

He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

fair is fair

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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in

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(443): View more from Maryland

well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.

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