Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
