Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
