Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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