So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize