This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
