So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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