Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
