I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
