Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
