Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
