we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
