SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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