I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize