I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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