We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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