Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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