Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
