I think i sorta joined a cult last night
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
