he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize