well I can't set my house on fire every night
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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