He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
