If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
