I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
