I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Come see our sink grown plant.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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