If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You pole danced in your parka.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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