isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize