Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
