Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
