I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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