oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
