Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
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