please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
