Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
