just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
