Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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