GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
