What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
