As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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