let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
