there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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