i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
